Me: (Driving) Wow, it's really windy.
Wife: Wind is dumb.
Me: (Laughing) Can I quote you on that?
Wife: What?
Me: You just said that wind is dumb - does that mean it has a personality?
Wife: Well, if it did, it would definitely be dumb.
Me: For some weird reason, I get it.
Disclaimer: This was not my real wife, this was my stunt wife. My real wife does not give me permission to quote or talk about her. Any resemblance is purely coincidental.
There will be more wifeisms to come, only because she's having to spend a lot more time with me these days (she's a martyr that way) and there is now much more material to choose from.
But don't worry, no real wives will be hurt, just the stunt wife.